What I remember: 12

'Hwang Bo-ya! Hwang Bo!!!'

Junjin ran after Hwang Bo as she sped off to her car. Jumping in, she drove off without even taking a look back at Junjin.

Cursing under his breath, Junjin started calling her while flagging a cab down to follow her car.

'Pick up the phone, Bo. Just pick up the damn phone!'

Junjin watched her car swerving in and out of lanes, not caring if she got into an accident or not as she sped back home. Junjin let out a cry of frustration as he threw himself against the seat, thinking of what she said to him in the elevator after they left Hyun Joong's room.

'Jin-ah, why did you have to hold my hand like that in front of him?'

'I.. it.. it was nothing. I've held your hand before, why are you getting all defensive now?'

'I know you've held my hand before, but why in front of him? Especially now??' she demanded as she glared at him through her large expressive eyes.

'I just didn't think it would mean anything to him okay? You guys are over, why should it even matter if I held your hand or not? What makes you think that he'd even care?' retorted Junjin.

Hwang Bo looked at him as tears glassed over her eyes. 'Because I know him inside out. Because I know what he thinks about even without him saying a word. Despite having left his side two years ago, I realized today that no matter how long I've been away from him, I can still read his mind like a book. You know why? Do you really want to know why?'

'No. Look, Bo, I'm sorry okay. Please stop this. I'm really sorry.'

'Because I still love him Jin. No matter how hard I try, I just can't stop loving him. And it's eating me inside when I know that I can't be with him even though that's the only thing in this world that I want. And to know that I've caused him hurt like this, it kills me even more. Do you even understand that Jin?' Hwang Bo asked before she ran out of the elevator.

Junjin closed his eyes as he replayed that scene over and over again in his mind.

'Bo, I do understand. Because it kills me to see you hurting like this too. Please, please, please God. Keep her safe now.'

What I remember: 11

Hyun Joong opened his eyes and took in the unfamiliar surroundings before laying his eyes on the sleeping form next to him.

'She still looks the same' he thought as he reached out to brush her hair off her face, causing her to stir awake.

'Buin..'

Hwang Bo steadied her heart as she heard him calling her the way he used to call her before everything changed. Smiling at him, she busied herself by straightening his blanket before finally looking at him in the eye.

'Hello Hyun Joong. It's been a while.'

'How have you been? Have you been taking care of yourself the way you take care of people? Do you still look at the stars and wish that I was healthy and well? Do you still look through your phone and think of who to introduce the boys to?'

Hyun Joong looked at her closely, silently asking her those questions in his mind as he took in her face. Taking in a deep breath, he opened his mouth to say something when he heard the door open.

'Jung-ah, I've done all the procedures and I've contacted his manager. They'll be here soon.'

Jun Jin walked in and put an arm over Hwang Bo's shoulders reassuring her that everything was taken care of before looking at the bed.

'Hyun Joong! You're awake!'

'Jun... Jun Jin hyung, thank you for all your help.'

'I didn't do anything, it was Hye Jung that told me what to do. Without her, I'd probably still be freaking out on the road, thinking of what to do next.'

'Yeah, she always knows what to do,' Hyun Joong said in a small voice, betraying the rush of emotions that he was feeling at that moment.

Hwang Bo looked away, feeling the tears threatening to spill over, as she said 'Jinnie, we're going to be late.'

Jun Jin nodded as he took her hand in his and pulled her closer to him. 'Hyun Joong, we're going to go now. You take care and text me if you need anything okay? I've left my number on the table.'

'Okay, hyung. Thank you again. And you too.. Hwang Bo-ssi.'

'Take care Hyun Joong. Get well soon.'

Hyun Joong felt as though his heart was being ripped apart as he watched his Hwang Buin leaving with another man.

'So... she's... found someone who will love her the way I couldn't love her...'

Hyun Joong's new album

Hyun Joong has released the jacket photos of his upcoming album entitled 'Break Down' scheduled for release on the 8th of June.

His album has him with a different look from his usual appearance, and has been described by netizens to be a more masculine and manly side of him.

His album will carry six tracks and sees him collaborating with Ken Lewis, who has also worked with Usher, Kanye West and Eminem.

What say you guys? Cool? Macho? Too dark?

*Credits: Naver.com*

What I remember: 10

Beep... beep... beep...

Taking in deep breaths, Hwang Bo tried to steady herself as she looked at the man lying down on the hospital bed. It took almost all her strength to keep from screaming his name out loud and shaking him awake as he slept on.

'Shillang, what did you do to yourself? You were supposed to be happy, to live your life well. I was supposed to look you in the eye and smile when we finally met again. This is not what it was supposed to be like,' she thought to herself as she felt her body go numb from the sense of helplessness that she felt.

'I would do anything just to hear you sing to me again. Please wake up, Shillang...'

*Three years earlier*

'Buin, make sure you watch my solo later. I've planned a big surprise for you! But don't be too scared when they jump out, okay? ^^Y'

Hwang Bo smiled at the silly text that Hyun Joong sent her and continued watching Kyu Jong performing his solo at the SS501 concert. Thanking her lucky stars that she was no where extremely near the stage, she began giggling as she imagined storks flying out from cages all over the place, when Kyu Jong announced the solo performance of their leader, Hyun Joong.

'Hi there everyone! I hope you're all having a great time!!' yelled Hyun Joong as he stepped out on the stage, dressed in a Pooh Bear suit.

'I know this looks weird, but you'll stay with me right? And not be ashamed of me right??' he asked the cheering crowd as he focused on his star that night.

'I wanted you to know that I have been practicing this for a long time, and that no matter what it's the thought that counts. Pay attention closely, and if you think looking at me is too awkward for you, then just close your eyes and feel this.'

And she believes in me
I`ll never know just what she sees in me,
I told her someday if she was my girl
I could change the world with my songs, but
I was wrong
But she has faith in me
And so I go on trying faithfully
Forever in my heart she will remain
And I hope and pray
I will find a way, find a way

Hyun Joong walked down the stage as he continued singing and headed towards the wide-eyed Hwang Bo. Laughing, he saw her freeze with shock before trying to duck away and disappear into the crowd.

'HWANG BUIN! Where do you think you're going? I told you before, no matter where you go, I'll be able to find you!'

Hwang Bo turned to stone as she heard Hyun Joong calling out to her as the entire stadium screamed their cheers. Refusing to look at him, she willed the ground to open and swallow her whole and save her from his piercing gaze.

'I told you not to be scared. Hwang Buin, there's something I've been wanting to tell you for a long time now...'

'HWANG BUIN! SARANGHANDA!!!!!!!!'

Hwang Bo looked up as she saw thousands of sparks light up the sky. Laughing, she covered her mouth with her hands as she watched the most spectacular display of fireworks spell out their names.

Watching her closely, Hyun Joong stepped by her side and repeated softly into her ear.

'I will find a way for us both. I love you Buin...'

Closing her eyes, Hwang Bo said a quiet prayer as she felt her heart explode with happiness.

'God, if you can hear me, thank you. Thank you for bringing him into my life. Thank you.'

What I remember: 9

And twisted thoughts that spin round my head,
I'm spinning, oh I'm spinning,
How quick the sun can drop away,
And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass,
Of what was everything

Hwang Bo found herself singing along to the song as Jinnie drove them to their destination. Looking at her from the corner of his eye, Jinnie let out a deep breath and kept quiet for the first time that day.

'She's still not over him..'

Bringing the car to a stop, he sat together with her as she continued singing with her eyes closed. It was only when the song came to an end that she opened her eyes and looked around, startled to see that they had stopped along an empty road.

'Jinnie, I thought that we were going to eat?'

'I didn't know where you wanted to go. So I figured instead of driving around and wasting fuel, I'd just stop and wait for you to tell me. Fuel's expensive you know.'

Smiling wistfully, Hwang Bo turned at him and shrugged while saying 'I've heard that before. But you know what? Life's too short to count dollars and cents. If all fails, then we can just work harder and go on more events.'

'Hmm.. that's really... profound.'

'I know right? And I know that you'd not understand. Never mind, let's just go to that Chinese restaurant around the corner. It's not too far from here.'

Jinnie looked at her as she turned her attention to the view outside. Setting the car in motion he thought to himself, 'I understand more than you'd ever know. I just wish that you'd see that sometimes.'

Hwang Bo opened the window, feeling the wind blow in her face. Scrunching her eyes, she looked at the sky and smiled to herself as she basked in the warmth of the sun.

'Hey Hwang Bo! Someone got into an accident by the side of the road!'

'Huh? Where?' Hwang Bo swiftly turned her head as she saw the car knocked into the curb. Getting out of the car, the both of them ran towards the driver hoping that everything was okay. Jinnie pulled open the door and reached out for the man sitting in the seat.

'Are you okay? Can you hear me?'

'Buin...'

Hwang Bo's eyes widened with shock when she saw that the man bleeding in the seat of the car was the very man that haunted her thoughts every single second of the day.

'Shillang...'

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life,
I know you'll be a star
In somebody else's sky, but why
Why, why can't it be, why can't it be mine?

What I remember: 8

The shrill ringing of his phone woke Hyun Joong up from his reverie. Looking down he saw Kyu Jong calling him.

'Hello?'

'Hyung, where are you? I've been waiting here for 20 minutes. I thought you said you were on your way?'

'Kyu, yeah. I am on my way. Just wait there a while, alright?' Hyun Joong muttered before hanging up.

He took one last look at the picture that he was clutching in his hand before he placed it in his pocket and walked towards his car.

As he got into the driver's seat, he went through the motions of starting the car and headed out but even as he was driving, he knew that he wasn't even sure where he was going. He couldn't concentrate on the road, not when he was so lost inside.

'If only there was a navigation kit for your memories,' he thought before he felt his whole body lurch forward. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as he felt his car swing out of control, hitting the curb.

And then he saw her.

They were walking hand in hand with each other in a park, laughing at something they saw in passing. He remember feeling so content, when he heard her calling him.

'Shillang. I want you to promise me something.'

'Yeah?'

'Promise me first.'

'I have to hear what you want me to promise you first before I can do the deed. What if you want me to sell my guitars and buy a house?'

'It's not that!'

'Then what is it? You want a chicken shop?'

'No!'

'You want that wedding dress we used the last time. I said I'd buy you one, just not that one.'

'Shillang...'

'It was too revealing! I'll buy you one with lots of cloth okay? No holes in strange places at all. This, I will promise you.'

Laughing, she began hitting his arm and he pretended to run away from her.

'Shillang! That still isn't what I want!'

Turning around, Hyun Joong looked back at her as she gazed at him with her head cocked to one side. The sunshine spilled on her, giving her the angelic glow to her that he absolutely loved.

'Yes, Buin.. what do you want me to promise you?'

'I want you to promise me that no matter what happens, you'll always love me. No matter what people say, you'll always believe in me. No matter what, you'll always be with me, no matter where you are.'

Hyun Joong walked up to her and looked straight into her eyes.

'Why are you asking me to promise you something that I have already sworn to do?'

The last thing Hyun Joong saw before he closed his eyes was her radiant smile as she reached out to hug him.

'Buin...'

Seoul!

I'm coming home, I'm coming home,
Tell the world that I'm coming home!!

I'll finally be making that trip to Seoul come July! Woohoo!!! I know it's not exactly right around the corner, but it's near enough innit??

I'm going the the Land Of The Morning Calm, and will be pigging out on all my favorite goodies (alert the weighing scales, I am so gonna pack on the pounds, but it'll all be SO WORTH IT!)

This is definitely something I want to try in Seoul, as the last time I had it, I was in Kuching and IT WAS FANTASTIC! But this seems a little lonely without the mayonnaise and cheese sauces that was dripping off the potato in Kuching, I wonder if there are any sauces like that in Seoul... Hmm..

Anyone gonna be around in Seoul in July? Let me know!!

Love,

Chonsa

*Photo credits: google.com*