What I remember: 14

Two weeks later

'Hyung! We have to get ready for the live show now, have you gotten your guitar yet?'

'Yeah, don't worry, I'm ready,' Hyun Joong replied, grabbing his guitar as they walked together towards the studio.

'Why did you suddenly want to play your guitar hyung? You never wanted to before regardless of how many times we asked you to. Are you going to play our latest song??' Hyung Jun asked, pulling on Hyun Joong's shirt as he clamored for his attention.

Hyun Joong smiled in silence and entered the studio where they were scheduled to give an interview.

Taking in deep breaths as the time for him to perform ticked closer, he steadied his heart as he prepared himself mentally to perform the one song that he had been wanting to sing ever since he came back from the hospital.

'Hyun Joong-ssi, we hear that you have prepared a little surprise for everyone here! Would you like to let us in on the surprise?' questioned MC Yoo.

'Hmm... This is actually something that represents me at this moment in time. You could say that I've been sleeping this past two years, going through everyday without knowing what my aim in life was. I've been lucky enough to have been awakened from my long slumber, but just when I thought I could run and make everything alright, I realised that sometimes wanting to try your best just isn't good enough.'

'So... in other words, this is a song that will let us know what your real feelings are?'

'Yes. This is as real as I can ever get.'

'Okay, I'm sure that it's safe to say that we're all looking forward to listening to your heart. Hyun Joong-ssi, if you may...'

Hyun Joong cleared his throat as he strummed the first few chords of the song that he hoped Hwang Bo would hear.

'Hwang Buin.. this is for you...'

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you? And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up while you're ok?
I'm falling to pieces, yeah I'm falling to pieces.

What I remember: 13

Jumping out of the cab, Junjin sped to Hwang Bo's car as she pulled over in front of her apartment building.

'Bo! Look, I'm sorry okay. Please, I didn't mean it that way. I just.. I just didn't think...'

Hwang Bo looked at Junjin, his forehead creased with worry and leaned against him, pulling him close in a hug.

'I know Jin. I know. It's just that... I dunno, I just become a wreck around him. And although I want to pull myself away from him, I can't. Thank you for always being there for me though, I really do love you for being the brother that I can always depend on.'

Sighing, Junjin squeezes her tight, knowing that he will always be defeated by her memory of him.

'I'll always be your brother Bo. I love you too.'

What I remember: 12

'Hwang Bo-ya! Hwang Bo!!!'

Junjin ran after Hwang Bo as she sped off to her car. Jumping in, she drove off without even taking a look back at Junjin.

Cursing under his breath, Junjin started calling her while flagging a cab down to follow her car.

'Pick up the phone, Bo. Just pick up the damn phone!'

Junjin watched her car swerving in and out of lanes, not caring if she got into an accident or not as she sped back home. Junjin let out a cry of frustration as he threw himself against the seat, thinking of what she said to him in the elevator after they left Hyun Joong's room.

'Jin-ah, why did you have to hold my hand like that in front of him?'

'I.. it.. it was nothing. I've held your hand before, why are you getting all defensive now?'

'I know you've held my hand before, but why in front of him? Especially now??' she demanded as she glared at him through her large expressive eyes.

'I just didn't think it would mean anything to him okay? You guys are over, why should it even matter if I held your hand or not? What makes you think that he'd even care?' retorted Junjin.

Hwang Bo looked at him as tears glassed over her eyes. 'Because I know him inside out. Because I know what he thinks about even without him saying a word. Despite having left his side two years ago, I realized today that no matter how long I've been away from him, I can still read his mind like a book. You know why? Do you really want to know why?'

'No. Look, Bo, I'm sorry okay. Please stop this. I'm really sorry.'

'Because I still love him Jin. No matter how hard I try, I just can't stop loving him. And it's eating me inside when I know that I can't be with him even though that's the only thing in this world that I want. And to know that I've caused him hurt like this, it kills me even more. Do you even understand that Jin?' Hwang Bo asked before she ran out of the elevator.

Junjin closed his eyes as he replayed that scene over and over again in his mind.

'Bo, I do understand. Because it kills me to see you hurting like this too. Please, please, please God. Keep her safe now.'

What I remember: 11

Hyun Joong opened his eyes and took in the unfamiliar surroundings before laying his eyes on the sleeping form next to him.

'She still looks the same' he thought as he reached out to brush her hair off her face, causing her to stir awake.

'Buin..'

Hwang Bo steadied her heart as she heard him calling her the way he used to call her before everything changed. Smiling at him, she busied herself by straightening his blanket before finally looking at him in the eye.

'Hello Hyun Joong. It's been a while.'

'How have you been? Have you been taking care of yourself the way you take care of people? Do you still look at the stars and wish that I was healthy and well? Do you still look through your phone and think of who to introduce the boys to?'

Hyun Joong looked at her closely, silently asking her those questions in his mind as he took in her face. Taking in a deep breath, he opened his mouth to say something when he heard the door open.

'Jung-ah, I've done all the procedures and I've contacted his manager. They'll be here soon.'

Jun Jin walked in and put an arm over Hwang Bo's shoulders reassuring her that everything was taken care of before looking at the bed.

'Hyun Joong! You're awake!'

'Jun... Jun Jin hyung, thank you for all your help.'

'I didn't do anything, it was Hye Jung that told me what to do. Without her, I'd probably still be freaking out on the road, thinking of what to do next.'

'Yeah, she always knows what to do,' Hyun Joong said in a small voice, betraying the rush of emotions that he was feeling at that moment.

Hwang Bo looked away, feeling the tears threatening to spill over, as she said 'Jinnie, we're going to be late.'

Jun Jin nodded as he took her hand in his and pulled her closer to him. 'Hyun Joong, we're going to go now. You take care and text me if you need anything okay? I've left my number on the table.'

'Okay, hyung. Thank you again. And you too.. Hwang Bo-ssi.'

'Take care Hyun Joong. Get well soon.'

Hyun Joong felt as though his heart was being ripped apart as he watched his Hwang Buin leaving with another man.

'So... she's... found someone who will love her the way I couldn't love her...'

Hyun Joong's new album

Hyun Joong has released the jacket photos of his upcoming album entitled 'Break Down' scheduled for release on the 8th of June.

His album has him with a different look from his usual appearance, and has been described by netizens to be a more masculine and manly side of him.

His album will carry six tracks and sees him collaborating with Ken Lewis, who has also worked with Usher, Kanye West and Eminem.

What say you guys? Cool? Macho? Too dark?

*Credits: Naver.com*

What I remember: 10

Beep... beep... beep...

Taking in deep breaths, Hwang Bo tried to steady herself as she looked at the man lying down on the hospital bed. It took almost all her strength to keep from screaming his name out loud and shaking him awake as he slept on.

'Shillang, what did you do to yourself? You were supposed to be happy, to live your life well. I was supposed to look you in the eye and smile when we finally met again. This is not what it was supposed to be like,' she thought to herself as she felt her body go numb from the sense of helplessness that she felt.

'I would do anything just to hear you sing to me again. Please wake up, Shillang...'

*Three years earlier*

'Buin, make sure you watch my solo later. I've planned a big surprise for you! But don't be too scared when they jump out, okay? ^^Y'

Hwang Bo smiled at the silly text that Hyun Joong sent her and continued watching Kyu Jong performing his solo at the SS501 concert. Thanking her lucky stars that she was no where extremely near the stage, she began giggling as she imagined storks flying out from cages all over the place, when Kyu Jong announced the solo performance of their leader, Hyun Joong.

'Hi there everyone! I hope you're all having a great time!!' yelled Hyun Joong as he stepped out on the stage, dressed in a Pooh Bear suit.

'I know this looks weird, but you'll stay with me right? And not be ashamed of me right??' he asked the cheering crowd as he focused on his star that night.

'I wanted you to know that I have been practicing this for a long time, and that no matter what it's the thought that counts. Pay attention closely, and if you think looking at me is too awkward for you, then just close your eyes and feel this.'

And she believes in me
I`ll never know just what she sees in me,
I told her someday if she was my girl
I could change the world with my songs, but
I was wrong
But she has faith in me
And so I go on trying faithfully
Forever in my heart she will remain
And I hope and pray
I will find a way, find a way

Hyun Joong walked down the stage as he continued singing and headed towards the wide-eyed Hwang Bo. Laughing, he saw her freeze with shock before trying to duck away and disappear into the crowd.

'HWANG BUIN! Where do you think you're going? I told you before, no matter where you go, I'll be able to find you!'

Hwang Bo turned to stone as she heard Hyun Joong calling out to her as the entire stadium screamed their cheers. Refusing to look at him, she willed the ground to open and swallow her whole and save her from his piercing gaze.

'I told you not to be scared. Hwang Buin, there's something I've been wanting to tell you for a long time now...'

'HWANG BUIN! SARANGHANDA!!!!!!!!'

Hwang Bo looked up as she saw thousands of sparks light up the sky. Laughing, she covered her mouth with her hands as she watched the most spectacular display of fireworks spell out their names.

Watching her closely, Hyun Joong stepped by her side and repeated softly into her ear.

'I will find a way for us both. I love you Buin...'

Closing her eyes, Hwang Bo said a quiet prayer as she felt her heart explode with happiness.

'God, if you can hear me, thank you. Thank you for bringing him into my life. Thank you.'

What I remember: 9

And twisted thoughts that spin round my head,
I'm spinning, oh I'm spinning,
How quick the sun can drop away,
And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass,
Of what was everything

Hwang Bo found herself singing along to the song as Jinnie drove them to their destination. Looking at her from the corner of his eye, Jinnie let out a deep breath and kept quiet for the first time that day.

'She's still not over him..'

Bringing the car to a stop, he sat together with her as she continued singing with her eyes closed. It was only when the song came to an end that she opened her eyes and looked around, startled to see that they had stopped along an empty road.

'Jinnie, I thought that we were going to eat?'

'I didn't know where you wanted to go. So I figured instead of driving around and wasting fuel, I'd just stop and wait for you to tell me. Fuel's expensive you know.'

Smiling wistfully, Hwang Bo turned at him and shrugged while saying 'I've heard that before. But you know what? Life's too short to count dollars and cents. If all fails, then we can just work harder and go on more events.'

'Hmm.. that's really... profound.'

'I know right? And I know that you'd not understand. Never mind, let's just go to that Chinese restaurant around the corner. It's not too far from here.'

Jinnie looked at her as she turned her attention to the view outside. Setting the car in motion he thought to himself, 'I understand more than you'd ever know. I just wish that you'd see that sometimes.'

Hwang Bo opened the window, feeling the wind blow in her face. Scrunching her eyes, she looked at the sky and smiled to herself as she basked in the warmth of the sun.

'Hey Hwang Bo! Someone got into an accident by the side of the road!'

'Huh? Where?' Hwang Bo swiftly turned her head as she saw the car knocked into the curb. Getting out of the car, the both of them ran towards the driver hoping that everything was okay. Jinnie pulled open the door and reached out for the man sitting in the seat.

'Are you okay? Can you hear me?'

'Buin...'

Hwang Bo's eyes widened with shock when she saw that the man bleeding in the seat of the car was the very man that haunted her thoughts every single second of the day.

'Shillang...'

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life,
I know you'll be a star
In somebody else's sky, but why
Why, why can't it be, why can't it be mine?